Hi Aydan,
First off, I think you have definitely captured the moment of the photograph here. The big wave of sand being thrown up into the air looks great.
What is not so good though, is the actual perspective on this moment.
There are three things I would love to have seen in this image. The first is the faces of the two skydivers as they landed into the sand. Facial expressions reveal emotion, and that's key to creating a memorable photograph.
The second element is the canopy of the parachute. For the moment we can only see the slider, a small piece of the parachute designed to control the speed of the parachute's deployment, and it is just not as romantic looking as the full chute.
The third element is the landscape. In this image we get to see a lot of sand but not much of the actual sea… I am sure this location can me made to look better.
How can you capture a better image next time? The landing point is always going to be controlled by the pilot, but given the option, I would try to get in front of the action, not behind it.
The simplest way of controlling the shot is to get further back with a reasonable zoom lens; as the subjects come into the photograph, you zoom in or zoom out to maintain the composition.
Of course, the other option is to attach the camera to your foot and do the skydive yourself!
Next time!
Cheers,
Anthony